Joshua’s Journal

Joshua Gravis

A friend recommended I meditate on two verses of scripture as I endure my current circumstances:

Philippians 4:13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Romans8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

It is good to be reminded that God is in control. My job is to trust him and do the little things that I know I should be doing each day. He’s not asking some grand conquest of me; he’s simply asking me to care for my mother in the midst of her time of need. He’s giving me [click to continue…]

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Joshua Gravis

I idolized having a partner. I wanted more than anything to have that person who would be symbolized by changing my Facebook status to “In a Relationship.”

Because I had set “her” up as an object to obtain, that would make me feel whole, the LORD handed me over to the lusts of my flesh. Though I sinned against Jesus by acting in that wickedness, the original sin was to set up a human partner in the place of my Divine Partner in my heart. I rediscovered a devotional book (in the ancient/deep, rather than modern/light sense) today that I have not read in many months. I’ll share a few quotes from Imitation of Christ, by Thomas a Kempis, to help me express myself.

From ch. 11 ~ “The greatest obstacle, indeed, the only obstacle, is that we are not free from passions and lusts, that we do not try to follow the perfect [click to continue…]

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Joshua Gravis

I am going through possibly the greatest time of trial in my life. I am being severely tested: passing and failing on various points. My heart is broken from several failed attempts at courtship over the past couple years, and my heart has been hardened from choosing to sin after feeling broken repeatedly. Also, Mom is not well, physically or mentally, and I am having to move out of our house to give her space and to be in a safe place, myself. My pastor has reminded me not to feel sorry for myself. He’s also warned me not to walk off into rebellion, because I might not have another chance to return to Jesus. Prayers and encouragement are appreciated.

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Joshua Gravis

As a Christian, I am a servant. In fact, the Bible encourages me to view myself as everyone’s slave since the Creator of the Universe came down to Earth as a slave. Jesus also declares that as His faithful follower, I am now God’s friend, son, and bride, completely beloved by Him. But just as my Lord laid down all of his positions and titles when he came down to this little prison planet, so I lay down all to be simply a minister, i.e., a servant of all for God’s glory and our good.

My official job title is currently “corporate concierge.” I am grateful to have a position that allows me free time in-between hosting and directing tenants and visitors. This enables me to [click to continue…]

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Joshua Gravis

I have alot of maturing to do. Though I’m not walking in any rebellion against my Savior, I know there is still much purifying work for him to do in my heart. I recently was confronted by my pastor out of his concern that I am communicating things that are not sin, but which can appear to be sin to others who misunderstand me. I don’t want to be a possible cause for anyone to sin, especially not the sin of condemning another person.

What shall I do? If I refuse to have alcohol at my events, some may judge me as a legalist, and if I do have alcohol, others may accuse that I am taking a license to sin. I am comforted to remember that John the Baptist didn’t drink alocohol, so people said he was possessed by a demon. Likewise, Jesus did enjoy fermented beverages, so his accusers [click to continue…]

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Joshua Gravis

A friend posted a quote today on Facebook claiming that our obedience is not central to our salvation. The quote went on to say that what’s truly important is to recognize that we’ve been forgiven in the midst of our disobedience, and then our repentance/obendience will grow out of that. Another friend shared with me on my church’s website that he’s very excited about the Gospel and that he loves the Lord. This friend belongs to a church that does not believe that Jesus is the Lord/God, but rather a lord/god.

The word, Gospel, means at it’s core, news so good that it sounds impossible to believe. To me, this unbelievably awesome news is that God would die for me..and moreso, that he would live in me. My friend’s quote on Facebook seems to me to offer a hollow Gospel, promising me [click to continue…]

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Joshua Gravis

We toasted in the New Year Saturday/Sunday at Midnight, after having enjoyed a fun-filled evening with 40+ friends in our cozy little home. The couple dozen who were still present around 1AM took turns sharing our hopes and goals for 2012. Some were determined to change their eating habits; others committed themselves to coming out for more hikes; most agreed that they wanted to get closer to God/Jesus this year. I shared that I am resolved to not base my understanding of where I am with Jesus (i.e., how I would fare if judged right now) on how I feel.

I have made it a habit to pray for greater stability (in body, soul, and spirit). I sometimes recall during these prayers [click to continue…]

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Joshua Gravis

A few entries ago, I was reviewing a sermon that dealt with Job 33. I’ve experienced quite a “bed of suffering” since then. The dreams stopped (or at least I don’t recall any more), and now I’m not having any more panic attacks at night, since I’ve been praying against them at bed time. But I’ve been experiencing the worst stomach pains of my life for the past couple weeks.

I don’t want to over-spiritualize things, but I confess I don’t know why/how this is happening. I wonder if it’s discipline from God, an attack from a demon, or just a problem with something I’ve been eating. The only real dietary changes I can think of recently have been that I started eating fruit again after a couple years of keeping away from it, due to avoiding a daily sugar intake to fight [click to continue…]

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Joshua Gravis

I am working on final details for hosting New Year’s Eve at my house, getting a head count, who’s bringing what dishes and drinks,etc. A few weeks back, a friend texted me 3 or 4 times in a row using my name, and I thought he was doing it on purpose to play a joke or to prove a point. But I think God used him to teach me something.

People like being called by name. I think my mass texts are (in a much less important kind of way) like Jesus’ sermons to crowds. I’m presenting people with information that I believe is good for them, and which is directed to/at them, but there’s no personal touch. I imagine it had much more impact when Jesus [click to continue…]

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Joshua Gravis

**Please note, this is not a typical entry ~ mostly a  reflection on how God has used this exercise in online media in my life**

Dear private journal/public blog, I began posting you on the church website 2 and 1/2 months ago and was typing in you on Facebook for about a month before that. So much has happened, and I’ve learned so much – I am so glad that I started recording my thoughts, feelings and experiences in you. I believe God has used you to challenge me to [click to continue…]

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Joshua Gravis

I woke up this morning with the most intense stomach pain and  cramping I’ve experienced in my life. Thinking that it might be a side effect from the antibiotic I took for the ear infection, I called out sick from work and went to the doctor. After pressing around on my stomach a little bit, he told me that I had dyspepsia, more commonly known as indigestion. I bought a non name-brand version of the over the counter Pepsid he recommended and am now only feeling sour in my stomach, with no more pain.

Since I already had the day off, I decided to enjoy a prayer walk with our Heavenly Father at Prince William Forest Park. During my hike, I went off trail a bit to fight my way through some more challenging terrain. As I was going through this portion, I began talking with God about [click to continue…]

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Joshua Gravis

Thursday night I was asked to lead a large group of us in prayer who gathered to remember a friend who was shot and killed. I knew him as a young man: we played basketball together, got in fist fights against one another, laughed together…and at one another. Later in life, we discussed Jesus, Islam, and how to be saved from our sins.

For the hundreds that gathered on the Stonegate basketball court, it was an evening of reunions, laugther and tears. There were many hugs and handshakes, along with a few public addresses, some planned, some impromptu. One relative shared a poem, another spoke of seeing him again [click to continue…]

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Joshua Gravis

I had death on my mind as I went to bed last night. A friend from high school abruptly died, and I’m planning to attend his vigil tomorrow night. I didn’t sleep well, as my mind was turning and I was talking with God about my state before him and whether I would go to heaven or hell if I were to die.

When I did sleep, however, my dream went back to a similar theme as the night before, though not a similar dream, at all. Two nights ago, I dreamt I was part of one team or warriors fighting against another team, but in the end, we made peace. I also dreamt that same night that an old friend called me about a new job he’d gotten and was making alot of money…turned out he was working at a church. The messages to me were A) don’t fight against [click to continue…]

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Joshua Gravis

**This entry makes perfect sense to me, but may not to some others who read it. Please feel free to write me with any questions.

The weekend was a success, as I walked aware of God’s grace and kept pure in his Spirit. I was rewarded with sickness and warnings in a dream.

Sunday at church, Pastor took a break from preaching, handing the microphone over to a brother in our congregation. His message was a very clear warning from the 33rd chapter of Job, sharing how God warns us to repent by giving us suffering and dreams/visions. I’ve been enjoying suffering [click to continue…]

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Joshua Gravis

I have a busy weekend ahead, starting with the day off work tomorrow to go to the doctor for my first physical exam in over a decade. I am then hiking with a friend from Colorado, heading to a company holiday party, sleeping at a friend’s house and waking up to go hiking and dining with other friends before heading to another company holiday party tomorrow night.

I share the aforementioned activities simply to say that I need alone time with Jesus more and more as my schedule fills up more and more. I know the temptation is to think that I’m too busy to read scripture, pray, etc. when I have alot on my plate, but I am actively fighting that mentality. Tonight, after meeting with a friend at Tysons, I am heading [click to continue…]

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Joshua Gravis

A friend texted me today, “The wrestling/battle will never end…Always the flesh warring against the spirit”. I agree and I disagree. From personal experience, I know what it is to live day after day without any known sin for months at a time – total victory in Jesus! I also have experienced plunging back into rebellion full steam ahead, keeping myself too busy to even give the Spirit a chance to sit me down and chastise me.

But there is also a place that I’ve found, which is deeper than this dichotomy. Many Christians use this idea of the flesh battling against the Spirit as an excuse to continue in or go back to wilful sin against our Lord. I believe this is the greatest tragedy, for I know that when I allow myself to go walking back into iniquity, I am walking back onto the road to [click to continue…]

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Joshua Gravis

A friend recently advised me to not share everything from my private life in this public blog. Though not the first to say so, their angle was different than  others, and I appreciate where they are coming from.

Matthew 7:6
“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.”

Neither my friend nor I are calling any of our acquaintances or loved ones ”dogs or pigs,” but people, in general, oftentimes don’t [click to continue…]

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Joshua Gravis

Yesterday, I shared about an online journey I took, considering more alone time with Jesus. I noticed, however, that the scriptures (Mark 4:34 and 9:1-8) were Jesus alone with his disciples..not simply alone with one disciple or even alone with our Father.

Last night’s meeting at church was focused on the necessity of being part of the church in order to be a part of Jesus. I cannot just float around as a maverick Christian..I’m not really a follower of Jesus unless I follow him as part of his body, the church, the family of believers. Pastor walked us through the letter to the church at Ephesus, sharing again and again how Paul referred to Christians within the context of the church. He spoke to them not as an institution, but as [click to continue…]

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Joshua Gravis

“Alone with Jesus” ~ I typed this phrase into my search engine at work and spent the next few hours meditating on scriptures, sharing them with a couple friends, and ending up at a powerful poem.

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